Listen, I’m not a villain – never killed or stole nothing, I’m not fixin to take over the world or anything idiotic. And the only property damage I ever done was when I was fighting off those do-gooding jackasses in the Junior League of Righteousness. I didn’t even know why they were messing with me until it was over. It’s not like they showed me a warrant – and once I knew the score I came right down here and surrendered myself to the sheriff.

So, no, I ain’t a super-villain. More like a super-leave-me-alone. My only crime is having super-powers and refusing to work for the government. Why is it that the first thing everybody thinks of when they get some funky power is either robbing banks or punching bank robbers? I just wanna work my farm, but once the government figgered out I had powers, it was work for them or go to jail. If we were at war, fine, I’d sign up and do my duty – my dad and grandad, and all the way back, that’s what we do. I’dve done it too. But I’m not gonna dress up in tights and punch crooks – I’m not a cop.

I ain’t exactly a guy wears tights, either. You know?

I’m fine with using my powers for good, but why does that only mean crimefighting? I help more people farming than those spandex fools do punching people. Why can’t powers be for farming or construction or something? It’s ridiculous.

Anyways, you gotta get me outa here. Can’t you get the judge to set bail? I’m not gonna run anywheres cept straight back at my farm – you know that, and he knows that.

I got work to do.